most likely you have multiple personalities... i know i do.
when i moved to breckenridge, i quickly learned that the majority of locals drink to have fun and wind down at the end of their days. i came from a lifestyle where drinking was frowned upon... not to mention their are some addiction issues among my parents' siblings. in other words, drinking wasn't my thing.
it felt weird to be the guy not drinking and always ordering something else. so i tried to blend in and did my best to like beer. i didn't study it or start my own brew, but i did always ask everyone about their favorite drink and attempt to see if it might strike the same chord in me. years later, nothing has... i still don't drink, and i'm getting better at not feeling self-conscious about it.
there's who i was... who i wanted to be... and who i projected when with others... and maybe MORE.
something that helped me was bumping into a guy that told me his story. he dated and is now married to a bartender. she drinks. he doesn't. when they were dating he would order a beer, take it to the bathroom with him, pour it out and refill the bottle with water and return to the bar. he just never felt comfortable being himself. we talked and i learned he has all sorts of reasons similar to mine as to his WHY. as i listened to his story, i couldn't escape the feelings that i had for him... i just wanted him to not care about what others thought... i wanted him to truly be himself... he didn't need to borrow someone else's plot or read from anyone else's script.
what i am still learning: the script is mine to write... yours to write. we need to be true to who it is we are... free to be you... free to be me. that's certainly where he is now. that's where i'm taking steps toward.
who you are is more interesting than who you aren't.
live your story.
you be the you that you are.
i need to address the success rate of one of my experiments...
"almost caffeine free" is at about a 12.2% success rate... in other words, it's an epic fail. i entirely forgot about tax season and how much i would need to rely upon caffeine : ) if i tweak my expectation just slightly, and limit myself to 2 caffeinated drinks instead of 1 caffeinated drink a day, i will be closer to a 96.7% success rate. i like those numbers! and that is still less caffeine than i was consuming before so it is better communication with my body. that's a W.
stay tuned this week for a follow-up nudge from MTL last night.
enjoy the rest of your week!
not at all what i expected...
apparently i am a lazy person… okay, not really, but that’s how i feel in light of my new experiment… margins.
how can it be SO difficult to spend time at the beginning and end of my days to prepare and decompress? and i’m not talking about a lot of time… i’m only talking about 5 minutes, 10 minutes total... and i have failed almost every time. what?!?!?!?!
how can this be?
time is certainly a rare commodity these days (you're nodding your head in agreement right now aren't you?). it's still just as plentiful as it once was, but there seems to be less and less of it. weird right?
with only 24 hours in a day and seven of those days a week, we have enough time to live meaningful lives, but everything else just somehow gets in the way... or rather, i let that "stuff" cut in line... that's what i'm learning at least.
these margins are important. that's what i've read and that's honestly what i've experienced. but my life right now seems stacked against the concept. it's hard to make the time and when it's easy, i just don't want to... so...
my margins will now become moments... moments during my day when i prepare or decompress. i will attempt to use 10 minutes during my days rather than at the beginning and end. i just want to experiment and see if that helps in any way. i'm hopeful.
i'll let you know, and maybe you can try this too... i sure hope i'm not the only person who struggles like this : ) give yourself some grace and shake things up. have some moments.
morning stretch... easy and refreshing.
natural light... feels great, but a little difficult now because of daylight savings.
almost caffeine free... ups and downs, but i honestly feel better with less.
powered down... i hate to admit it, but it feels ridiculously impossible.
pjs... pretty consistent, and i think it actually helps me rest better.
a new proposal- MARGINS... imagine these as the bookends to your day. use this time and space to prepare or decompress... meditate, pray, journal, etc. and not necessarily a ton of time. five minutes would be an improvement to my nonexistent margins : )
i'm going to add a blend of margins in the coming week since i can't settle on one in particular.
should be exciting!
Be the brave and ask the question no one else will ask.
Move your table out into the hallway and invite others to a meal.
Experiment. Interrupt the status quo. Incite change toward a better story for yourself and others.
Slow down. Reflect. Adventure inward.
Wear PJs!!! Hahaha ... you need to listen to the MTL Podcast to get that last one : )
Remember, this experimentation should be fun and exciting and without a doubt difficult because change always is.
I also want to share a story with you...
I have been selling a lot on eBay recently to make some extra money. This past Sunday evening I parted ways with my original Xbox along with its games and many controllers. My boys had enjoyed that Xbox as their first game system, but it was also my first game system (apart from the ones that were given to me during my childhood). And even though it was the first system I owned as an adult, I still didn't purchase it. Why? About three years into directing a youth program in Breckenridge, some of the boys realized I didn't have a game system. So what did they do? They went in together and purchased one for me. I still remember the day they gave it to me, and the times afterward when I'd come home to them in my living room playing it : ) What great memories!
How can you author a better story?
What decisions can you make to write a better script?
In what ways can you live more connected to others?
I encourage you to share yourself... your time and your energy.
Experiment and see what memories you can create.
P.S. If you are going to start your days with a morning stretch and natural light, you better hop on it this week... I was reminded by someone last night at MTL that Daylight Savings is right around the corner and is going to put a damper on our natural light in the mornings. So make it happen this week : )
Here is an excerpt from Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist... "I'd just read Arianna's fantastic book Thrive, and she makes a point that we should all wear pajamas, and that the epidemic of wearing workout clothes to bed has to end. So when it's time to rest, tell your body it's time to rest by putting on your pajamas- clothes specifically made for private spaces, for quite, for sleep. Don't confuse your body by dressing it the same way you would to go to the gym, or to coffee."
Are you the kind of person who stays up too late? I am. Are you the kind of person that falls asleep in their clothes? I am. Even if you're not, it's pretty interesting to think of bodyTALK and self-care in terms of PJs.
Which brings me to the next experiment, and I'm almost positive you can guess it: wearing pajamas.
That's right. Choose something comfortable and cozy to wear at the end of the day that tells your body it is time to wind down... that it is okay to "turn off."
Try it... MORE than once. See what happens.
That's right, have a day...
a day to live
and sense depth in the ordinary : )
Today is your gift...
and I hope you can approach it with gratitude
and with wonder...
regardless of your circumstances.
I personally am co-planning an action packed, Escape the Room-ish birthday party for my youngest boy and his friends at our home today... and I just broke one of our shovels while moving around some snow... oh my.
Earlier, when I got into my car to run a quick errand, the low pressure light came on for my rear, driver-side tire... of course. I suspect a pesky nail. Then the air pump at the nearest gas station took my money... always a joy.
And literally just now, one of my other boys broke a glass while emptying the dishwasher.
I don't know how your day is going. And honestly, no matter how it shapes up, I am excited for you because today is your gift!
Live your story.
Speak with your voice.
We need you.
So have a day... this day... it's yours!
These posts offer further reflection on topics we tackle during MTL nights.