FORGIVEness Finale

​If you’re living and breathing, chances are good you need to forgive someone.
Chances are also good, you need to ask someone for forgiveness. 

So right now, if you can think about someone in your life who hurt you and how that person needs to ask you of your forgiveness, chances are good that you have also hurt them somehow… and that you possibly have some forgiveness to seek out yourself.

And now you’re probably thinking something like, “But Phil, they hurt me. It’s their fault. I don’t need to apologize… this is on them, not me.”

To which I would reply, “Sounds like your ego doing the talking… puffing up and protecting itself because it doesn’t like to feel small or little.” 

When threatened, our egos approve of revenge and bitterness and resentment. Our egos react to save face when it comes to situations dealing with forgiveness. And our egos fail to see the part of the situation that is ours to truly own. Your ego blinds you to whether more people are hurting than you in an effort to protect itself.

The good news: 
we all have egos and never leave home without them. And when kept in check, our egos help us develop our unique sense of self. 

The bad news: 
the buddhists call unchecked egos “hungry ghosts” which are never truly satisfied.
Translation: be aware when your ego is talking and keeping you in a state of perpetual misery.  

MORE good news: 
we are more than ego… we are also soul. 
And your soul doesn’t even have language for revenge or bitterness or resentment because your soul simply desires wholeness, healing, freedom, and joy. 

Now, I get it…
Sometimes all you can hear is your ego. 
But honestly, no amount of revenge will satisfy. 
So try to ask your soul what it wants… 
and take steps toward wholeness, healing, freedom and joy. 

Which might mean… that regardless of who dealt the first blow… you might need to take the first step and ask for forgiveness for whatever part is yours to own.

In the past few years, I was hurt… 
it felt like a piece of heart had been ripped out… 
and the wound was deep. 

A friend told me about how it took him a really long time to forgive someone… 6 months. 
It’s taken me years!!! 

I’ve said things… I’ve avoided certain people… I’ve lashed out. 
I couldn’t stand to see the people that hurt me or even say their names. 

In short, I was miserable and a mixed bag of emotions… 
I wanted them to ask me for forgiveness… 
I wanted to enact revenge… 
I wanted to move away… 
I wanted them to not exist… 
I wanted payback, you know, justice. 

But when those emotions exhausted themselves and my ego got quiet, I heard my soul and found that all I truly wanted was peace.
 
Whenever forgiveness is an issue, there’s typically a story with 2 sides…
2 hurt people (not just one)…
2 people in need of asking for forgiveness (again, not just one)… 
2 people waiting/needing to take the first step… 
both feeling threatened…
both having bruised egos that flare up with all sorts of emotions… 
both having souls that ultimately desire healing and wholeness and freedom and joy. 

Until next time… on MAY 11th...

May learn to breathe forgiveness deep into the lungs of your soul, bringing you life and peace.

And may you practice forgiveness by…
letting shit go… 
ditching the score cards… 
or even by interrupting an unforgiveness ritual…  

And may you also put your ego in check, 
own what is yours, 
and take the first step.

Now go, and refuse to let anyone rob you of the joy and wonder your soul desires. 

Some MORE...
Here’s a good story nudging all of this a bit further that I shared at MTL… one of the most powerful pieces

Here’s the podcast to our last gathering…FORGIVEness- Your Part of the Equation

Can’t wait to see all of you next time at MTL on May 11th for a very special evening!!!
~phil